I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
