i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
