Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize