Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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