Where are you?
In a non slutty way
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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