i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
