I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize