you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
