There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
