You're like the curious george of whores
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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