I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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