dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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