Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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