we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
