Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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