Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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