were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
