Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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