when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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