I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
