we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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