I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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