I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
