i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
