mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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