So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
