i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
