Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize