Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
