So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
