ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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