dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
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I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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