he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
