Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
