im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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