There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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