Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
