wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize