what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
