Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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