I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
