Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize