We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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