But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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