Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
it glows. i had to have it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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