and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
