This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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