I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
