You can't special order awesome
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Rumble strips road head = magical
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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