So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
