I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
