Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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