carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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