Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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