Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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