Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
