New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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