If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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