I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
