I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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